7.11.2008

the update

So, did Maggie's non-dramatic bike riding breakthrough transfer over into non-dramatic time in the pool?

No.

It's really too long and ridiculous to type out but I'll sum up what I gathered in five points.

1. When you are pregnant, very emotional cranky, not extremely mobile, pretty nauseous and struggling with outrageous allergies you shouldn't choose that time to take your non-swimming children to the pool.

2. When you are taking one child to the pool who is known to be dramatic in that particular situation, it's really incomprehensible why you would also take your loud, strong-willed 2 1/2 year old with you...especially when there were other capable adults that had offered to watch him for you.

3. The mothers sitting by the pool will show no mercy or pity towards you, even in your pregnant state, when both of your kids are bawling and / or screaming at the top of their lungs, clutching on to your neck, acting like you are drowning them...while only their legs are actually in the water. In fact, they will glare at you and even shake their heads with seething disapproval. They will continue their staring and head shaking even during the time it takes to get your bawling children dried and out of the pool area.

4. 7 years of teaching swimming lessons will not prepare you in any way for this experience. It will not give you an inkling of an idea how to handle any of it. It will only contribute to the rapidly increasing notion that you are a complete failure and a very strong urge to start bawling yourself. On a related note, explaining to your almost 6 year old daughter that not one of the hundreds of children that have been in your aquatic care have drowned will not matter to her at all.

5. Paying $8.00 for approximately 6 minutes of this lovely experience is going to make you even more emotional cranky than you were before.

HOWEVER...

There are some positives. First, I don't plan to be this foolish again. Second, the experience did end with something that made me smile. I had forgotten to bring undies for Cal to put on when we took his wet suit off, so here he is, going commando.

IMG_4251

8 comments:

clyde said...

You really need to warn men before scrolling down here. I hope you were careful with fastening the harness.

Bekah said...

Hahahahaha Poor Calvin!

bean said...

@clyde - yes, in fact, i was very glad for our new(er) carseat because it has that wrap around belly pad - no plastic or metal could have pinched anything. :)

@bekah...and everyone - ummm, no. you have missed the entire point of the post. poor MEEEEEEEEEEE. :) just kidding. cal did look very pitiful, and anyone who screamed that loud and long would have to end up with a massive headache.

Barbara said...

Applause! Applause! Brava! Brava! Any sick, pregnant, already-mother-
of-two who would voluntarily take her children to a swimming pool knowing they would freak out is my hero. You were either super inspired by the swim trials or you have a death wish! Sorry they didn't want to swim. It will happen some day when you least expect it. Kind of like riding a bike ...

When a Picture Just Isn't Enough said...

Okay, that has to be the funniest post ever! I know that it probably wasn't funny at the time, but it's hilarious now. Well, it is for me! ;-P The picture of Calvin has to go in his future wedding collage video, for sure!

Do you look pregnant yet? I have been on the receiving end of glaring eyes when my children have gotten emotional in public and I've been obviously pregnant - it's the "and she's having ANOTHER one??" look. Ahhh, good times!

sar said...

being cautious has it's perks...zac only had one set of stitches [[ironically from falling off of his bike]] while rach & i had them more times than i can remember!

rach and i were constantly tying our bikes together and making bike trains, flipping off of the swingset upside down, flipping on our trampoine, jumping into the pool, jumping off of the house onto the tramp, etc etc...while zac prefered his bat and ball and escaped from the water every time he had swimming lessons.

so though your kids are a bit more wary of trying new things, they will probably stay out of the e.r.!

Cherie (Baker) Vann said...

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

when I have kids and I whine about something, you can remind me that I laughed at you!

Joan Dabrowski said...

That is my favorite picture of Calvin in the universe. My children all hated the water too. None of them can swim as of this posting and they are all adults now.